by Britany Inkrott, LPCC
Fall is upon us and can remind us of how change is possible. Although change can be scary, Autumn reminds us that it can be a beautiful new season with creative new opportunities. What if we put that same concept into our relationships with our partners and significant others? Change is never easy to implement, but if we want a better partnership then we have to be the change we want to see within that relationship. So here is a list of items that we can do to implement change in our relationships:
Validation-
Validating and understanding what the other person says is a crucial part of connection. Every person wants to feel validation in how they feel. Even though you may disagree with how that person is feeling or what they are saying, it does not make their feelings less valid. Focusing on validating words like “I can understand why you would feel that way” helps your partner feel heard and understood.
Fair Fighting-
Having conflict is a part of life, but how we have conflict can make or break relationships. Let’s focus on fighting fair by:
- No name calling or put downs
- Not interrupting, take turns talking
- No emotional or physical violence
- Not generalizing (You always, You never)
- Putting down the defensiveness
- Stick to the issues at hand (No time traveling to the past)
- Taking time outs when needed
Love Languages-
Finding out what your partner’s love language is can increase intimacy and happiness within your relationship. Working on what makes your partner feel loved can be challenging due to the fact that their love language may be different than yours. Working on their love language and communicating your own love language may help your relationship connect and thrive once again.
These are just a few tips that can help to promote change within your relationship. Working on you to become a better two can be challenging. This may also just be what you need to start a new wave of change that can create a ripple effect within your relationship. If you feel like you need more guidance and help to navigate these challenges, please feel free to reach out to a Counselor for more help with your specific situation.
